


Not Too Much to Ask

by GinnyK



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-07
Updated: 2002-11-07
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15112154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: With some help from Mary ChapinCarpenter, Josh and Donna start to realize a few things.





	Not Too Much to Ask

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Not Too Much to Ask**

**by:** Ginny

**Pairing/Characters:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Series:** 4th in the Picking Up the Pieces series  
**Disclaimer:** They're not mine, nor do I expect to get them as a birthday present tomorrow. 

Josh's thoughts are in between the *********

 

By the beginning of July things were beginning to calm down, a little. The first round of depositions were done.  Everyone had managed to survive, some better than others but everyone did survive nonetheless.  Josh had done better than Donna expected.  Not that she expected the testimony to go badly or anything like that.  She was just expecting the whole situation to be more emotionally draining on him.  He had been feeling better, mostly due to the fact that he had finally given into his body's need for regular rest and decent meals.  Sure he'd had his share of moments but he was starting to realize he couldn't do everything for himself.  Yes, Joshua Lyman was starting to ask for help when he needed it.

Things between Josh and Donna were good. The whole bantering thing was back in full force.  His bad mood from the previous month had diminished.  They had spent time together outside of the office but still hadn't really crossed over the line from friendship to something more.  Well, the truth was they had spent way too much time dancing over that line but each time they somehow ended back up on the platonic side, just barely.  But they were enjoying the way things were.  It was comfortable, they both felt safe and it was what they both needed.

It was late in afternoon of July 6th by the time the nation's capital had recovered from the Fourth of July festivities.  Josh returned from a long and not too productive lunch meeting over by the Capitol.  He dragged himself through the bullpen and sat down at his desk to catch his breath, literally.  He had foolishly decided that walking back from the hill for exercise was a good idea.  It probably would have been a good idea, if it hadn't been 85 and humid outside.  It was times like this that the repercussions of a near fatal gunshot wound hit him hard.  He was still struggling to catch his breath when he looked up to see Donna walking through the bullpen.  Even from down the hall she could see he looked awful.  She quickened her pace and stepped into his office, closing the door behind her.

He was sitting with his feet up on the desk.  He was flushed and sweating, one elbow propped up on the armrest, his head resting in that hand, the other hand on his chest, over the scar.  She could hear him struggling to catch his breath.

"Josh, what's wrong?" she asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice as she walked around his desk to stand in front of him, dropping the Discman she had in her hand.

"Walked back from the hill" he said with a gasp.

"Josh, it's like 90 out there, what are you nuts?" asked Donna.

Josh just smiled weakly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Here" she said as she held out the bottle of water she had with her.

He took it and drank it, slowly.  He felt bad enough as it was, he didn't need to toss his cookies in front of her again.  He finished the water as she disappeared into the bullpen for a minute.  She returned with a cool, damp paper towel and another bottle of water.  Josh swung his feet down and started to stand up.  He didn't get too far.  Donna grabbed him by the elbow and steered him towards the couch.  He plopped down as Donna moved to turn the air conditioner to high.  She turned to find he was still sitting up.

"Josh, lie down"

"Donnatella, please, not now, I'm a little out of breath as it is" smirked Josh.

Donna just rolled her eyes at him as she knelt down next to him.  She reached over to take off his tie and undo the top buttons of his shirt.  He rolled up his sleeves as she slipped off his shoes.  Pushing Josh over a little she perched on the edge of the couch.  Josh's breathing was slowly returning to normal and his color looked a little better.

"Better?" she asked as she reached over to smooth back his hair and put the damp cloth on his forehead.

"Yeah, thanks"

"I'm going to the Mess you want something?" she asked as she stood up.

"Iced tea, thanks.

"No problem.  Relax for a few minutes, here" she said tossing him the CD player.

"Oh great, girly music" he smirked as she closed the door behind her.

He put on the headphones and opened the top to see what was in the player.  Mary-Chapin Carpenter. 

"I can live with that" he muttered to himself.  He settled down on the couch and pushed start.

>   
> __  
> To hear you say my name,  
>  To see you search my eyes,  
> To feel you touch my face  
> It more than satisfies.

Oh God, did she set this up for me to hear this song?  It's the truth, even if I won't admit it to anyone.  When she looks at me, with those big blue eyes, I melt.  When she touches me, well, let's just say my thoughts are not exactly appropriate for the boss/assistant relationship.  Which is, of course, not the relationship we have.  I'm not sure how to define what we have.  God knows I've tried. 

__

> _If I was not the first_  
>  Just say I'll be the last,  
>  It's too much to expect,  
>  But it's not too much to ask.

OK, I know I won't be the first, but can I just say, the thought of Dr. Freeride and Donna together, well, let's not go there. To think that I could be the last, that is too much to expect but I hope someday I can get up the nerve to ask. 

>   
>  __
> 
> Now I can only dream,  
>  Of being all you need,  
>  And I can only try,  
>  To be the reason why,  
>  You think about today,  
>  And forget about the past,  
>  It's too much to expect,  
>  But it's not too much to ask.

I would love to forget about a good part of the recent past.  I mean, in the past 15 months I've been shot, spent painful months recovering, had a breakdown, said many, many things to Donna for which I will never forgive myself...gomer comments, self worth comments, need to be coupled up comments, and so on.  But have I gone too far, can she forget about the past?  I know I need her but deep down I'm not sure that she needs me 

>   
>  __
> 
> Now I can only dream,  
>  Of being all you need,  
>  And I can only try,  
>  To be the reason why,  
>  You think about today,  
>  Cause the past is just the past  
>  It's too much to expect  
>  But it doesn't hurt to ask

The past is the past and maybe we should forget it. But there are too many reminders, physical ones like the scars on my chest and palm, the stiffness that continues to plague me, the way my back aches after a long day, the way I still wake up in a cold sweat at least once a week.  And the emotional scars, the kind we don't see, the kind that send me to the therapist every two weeks, the ones Donna carries around on her heart, those that were caused by me and my big mouth.  Have we been through so much that we can't put the past behind us?  God, I hope not.  Being all Donna needs, being the one to make her life whole is a dream of mine, probably more likely just a fantasy of a guy who is nearing 40 and never really been in love before, but whatever. A guy can dream, right? 

Donna appeared in Josh's doorway just as the song was finishing for the fourth time.  She smiled as she handed him a bottle of iced tea. She kicked off her shoes and perched on the couch next to him again.  He pulled the headphones off of his ears.

"Like the CD?" she asked as he handed her the Discman.

"Yeah, one song in particular" he admitted with a flash of his dimples.

"You gonna tell me which one or are you going to make me guess?" she asked as she reached for the iced tea bottle.

"Guess" he smirked.

"Not Too Much to Ask" she said in a voice that was a little huskier that she had intended.

Josh could only nod as he felt himself blush.  He looked into her eyes and then the exhaustion he had been feeling for hours caught up with him and he yawned loudly, thus breaking up the moment, if it was a moment, he wasn't too sure.

"Feel ok?" she asked as she placed one hand on his chest, over the scar.

"Yeah, I was just too hot, I shouldn't have walked from the hill, it was too much in this heat.  I'm fine, really" he said honestly as he laid a hand over hers.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, barely breathing, neither one wanting to move.  The ringing of Josh's phone brought the moment to an end.  Donna stood up and answered it.

"Josh Lyman...ok Sam, I'll tell him"

"Your dinner meeting was cancelled"

"Good, I wasn't in the mood for that one anyway.  So got any plans for dinner?" he asked, almost shyly.

"Well, I have a bunch of work to do, I have this slave driver boss ya know" she smirked.

"Well, I know for a fact that he's exhausted and plans on spending the next hour or so on the couch reading.  So maybe after that we can grab something."

"Sounds like a plan.  Mind if I work in here?  It's cooler than out in the bullpen."

"I'd like that" he said with a smile.

Donna grabbed her work and set herself up at Josh's desk.  She took the CD out of the player and popped it into Josh's computer.  He settled back down on the couch with a pile of blue folders and his iced tea.

They worked in silence through the first 5 songs.  When "Not Too Much to Ask" started they put down their work and just listened.  They didn't look at each other, they didn't speak, they just sat, each lost in their own thoughts and dreams.  The song ended and Donna picked up her pen as Josh returned his eyes to the file in his lap.

"Hey Josh"

"Hmmm?" he muttered not looking up.

"You are the reason"

"Reason for what?" he asked distractedly.

"The reason I think about today and try to forget the past" Donna stated simply without a whole lot of emotion.

Josh looked up with his eyebrows raised and a full dimpled smile on his face.

"Really?" he asked quietly.

"Really" she whispered as she bowed her head to return to her work and to hide her blushing cheeks.

>   
>  __
> 
> It's too much to expect,  
>  But it's not too much to ask.

THE END

**Sequel:** "The Flight From Hell and Other LA Adventures"

  



End file.
